While I was pregnant, I had to two major goals for myself. 1) If possible, deliver my child naturally, and 2) Breastfeed my baby. I did my research with delivering natural.
And then there was breastfeeding. I had several examples of my friends who had tried breastfeeding and it didn't work out. In most cases, their babies wouldn't latch, causing the baby to cry out due to hunger and frustration, which caused Mom to cry out due to baby crying. And what I learned real quick is that if your baby needs something, you will do anything in your power to get that need met. No matter what.
So boy did I do my breastfeeding research....I went
here for a class, learned about it during these
classes, and talked about it at my pregnancy group meeting. I talked to everyone I knew who had did it, wanted to do it, or had some knowledge to share with me about someone they knew who did it.
I did positive self-talk, normalized the problems that I predicted I may have, and rehearsed what I would do if questions came up. When we had Aylen, I can't tell you how many times I asked the nurses--"Does this look right?", "How do I know that this is a good latch?" I had Russ memorizing and taking pictures (yes pictures!) of what a good latch looked like...(Poor Russ, I know). I had to pretty much strip down to even start the process of breastfeeding. "This hurts. Are you sure?" This natural thing, wasn't exactly the most natural thing, if you know what I'm saying.
I became obsessed with latching.
I made an appointment the day we got home from the hospital at Milkwork (an amazing place!). My lactation consultant's job was to watch Aylen and I do our thing. Again I asked, "This hurts. Are you sure?" She taught me all different kind of holds. My sister-in-law came and she taught me a new hold. Pretty soon-it didn't hurt. Pretty soon I started to dig this time with just Aylen and I. Sure you can hold my baby, but I'll get him back when he's hungry. Because, I'm his grocery store, his 24-hour food mart, his Milk Woman, his one and only, and so-on.
During my time at home with Aylen, I had started getting the hang of it. I decided that I wasn't going to be that Mom who when baby got hungry, I would disappear into another room for 30 minutes to feed my baby. He was eating every 2-3 hours and that meant us missing out on a lot of things. So, when Aylen was hungry, I moved over the shirt and there he ate. I wasn't ashamed.
I breastfed at the Capital, the Irish Festival in Estes Park, Olive Garden, my work, Russell's work, the store, friends' houses, and anywhere in between. I was actually waiting for the person that told me to find somewhere private to nurse. I had lines ready for them...."So it's okay to have a 1/2 naked woman on billboards and in ads. But if a mother...blah blah blah." Just try me. I was ready. I haven't had to go there yet, but I'm still ready. I was also the Momma, that when I saw another Momma out there feeding her baby in public I wanted to high five her. You Go Momma! Instead, I smiled and let her know that I was accepting of her and her baby.
When I went back to work I had no idea the time it would take to pump. Seriously, unless you have pumped--you have no idea the time commitment. It is a full-time job! You know me...I'm a numbers person.....
Since I started back to work here are some approximate stats on pumping:
- I have pumped 500 times
- This means that I have spent close to 123 hours attached to my pump (can you imagine If I could get paid???)
- I have collected close to 6,000 oz of breastmilk
- I have spent 996 minutes cleaning my pump parts, marking my milk for daycare, and pouring milk into freezer bags.
Needless, to say breastfeeding while working is not an easy feat. My Bradley instructor told us in a class-Make sure you have a good Breastfeeding Support Team. And I do and continue to do for those times where it gets really tough and stressful. I rely on my Momma friends for support and ideas of how to overcome obstacles that I have run into while breastfeeding. And Russell is always willing to help bag some milk and clean some pump parts. Della and My mother-in-law were always awesome about keeping me updated on how much Aylen was eating and being protective of my milk.
I had no clue had territorial I would be over this stuff. If I spill a drop, I almost want to tear up. And those times when he doesn't drink the whole bottle and it's been sitting out too long....UGH...makes me cry to see it go down the drain.
Anyways--going back to breastfeeding and working...this is a tribute to all you Momma's doing it. THIS IS NOT EASY. I tell my friends who are doing it now or are about to be doing it.....You will STRUGGLE, but it is soooo worth it. And you do what you have to do...whether that be taking an herb, eating more, drinking more, Fenugreek, oatmeal, beer, power pumping, supplementing a little here and there, cosleeping, and/or pumping in the middle of the night.
It is worth it.
Sometimes, I look at my little man and think--WOW. I have sustained him for the past 211 days since he has been here. I am the reason that this little guy is growing. How cool?
Love,
Momma
