Welcome to the Fruvellhoff's page...Here to keep you updated in the lives of us!:) We are a growing family...month by month you just don't know what will be running around here!
So I should preface with the fact that I've had maybe 3 hours of sleep and am having one of "those" days. I'm going to refer to the colic as just that "the colic". See "the colic" is not my baby, Aylen. "The colic" is someone else, because my baby is sweet, smiley, and cuddly. And "the colic" is something that is inconsolable, angry, uncomfortable, and extremely sad. Some days "the colic" seems to take a vacation and trick Aylen & family into the thoughts that wow-everything is better! we are over the hump. But then "the colic" rears its ugly head and takes over my son. Some days I have the patience of a saint, other days I'm not as lucky.
It really stinks sometimes because I find myself wishing for the days to go quicker so that "the colic" will forever leave Aylen alone. Rumor has it this happens around 3 months or so..... But that would mean that I want the days of the sweet, cuddly Aylen to go faster too. And I can't say I want that...So I sit feeling guilty about wanting time to go faster, but slower at the same time. I also feel guilty about the pity that I have on myself sometimes. Why couldn't "the colic" picked on someone its own size?? Some of our friends say that it is because Russ & I are so patient that "the colic" chose us. I suppose this idea gives me hope that the universe knows what she is doing, even though it doesn't make too much sense to me.....
Last night was a prime example of "the colic" and its shenanigans (the times are estimates:).
8:30pm- Bath time with Dad. Guiness time for Me.
8:45pm- Aylen's dinner. Plus a dose of probiotics.
9pm- "the colic" appears in a mild form by creating a fussy baby. So i try the newest trick. I put Aylen in his stroller with the iphone blasting Enya. And I began strolling around-living room-dining room-living room-dining room-hallway-nursery-hallway- living room-dining room. Within 5 minutes I have a sleeping baby. I roll him to the foot of the bed and began my bedtime routine. Cleaning up the living room-Put away dishes-Floss-Brush-change my clothes. And I look at my sweet Aylen- perfectly asleep.
1030ish- My head hits the pillow I can't wait to sleep. WAAAAWWWWWWWW- Damn "the colic" has awaken. I swear "the colic" knows exactly when to strike. I calmly say on the monitor-"Russell you wanna take this one?" And I hear from the living room. "I got it".
11pmish-I try to sleep. I can hear "the colic" becoming louder and louder. "the colic" is at its height. Somehow I dose off after 30 minutes or so. During this time Russell tries Colic Calm. Just another product that attempts to be the savior for us families battling against "the colic". Does it work? Who knows. Does it make us feel like we're wining a little bit? Maybe.
1am-ish- I wake up and hear "the colic" still going strong. Uh-oh Russ has to be tired and frustrated. So I trudge into the living and find Aylen in the hold specifically designed by Russ to make "the colic" momentarily leave. Russell's face says it all...he has the face that has been pushed too much and too hard by "the colic" tonight. "I got him." And Russ gets ready for bed.
130am- I do the thing that works. Aylen goes in the stroller, blasts Enya, and follow the track around the house. Asleep after one loop--whoo-hoo! I wheel him to the foot of the bed. Jump into the sheets, put my head on the pillow. AND "THE DAMN COLIC" wakes up again.
2am- As you can see "the colic" turns to "the damn colic" and I decide that I'm defeated at this point. So I swaddle my sweet Aylen up and just hold him as "the DAMN colic" takes over. Crying, tears, screaming, uncomfortable. "I got you Aylen...." I just hold him and after 10 minutes he is asleep in my arms.
230am- Aylen's asleep on my chest and I'm sitting up in the chair. The light is on-but I don't dare turn it off because "the colic" resurfaces at the drop of a pin. I slowly fall asleep.....
445am- Crying, crying....It's not "the colic" but its my Aylen telling me he is hungry. I can deal with this....this is WHAT i thought are nights would be like. I feed him and we head to the spare bedroom. In hopes to not wake Russell.
530am-I begin to dose...and somehow, somewhere I fall into a sleep that leaves me very unfulfilled.
7am- Crying, moving--It's feeding time again. And it's a new day. Or did the day end-I'm not quite sure where my days start or end.
The life of a Momma with a Baby and "the colic". And as Russell's aunt said during a story last night...THE LONGEST DAYS and THE SHORTEST YEARS makes complete sense.
Here are some pictures to represent "the colic".....
This is the birth story of my first born child, Aylen John. This birth story took me a month to compose. Therefore, I can’t say that everything happened the way I remember it happening. But it’s got to be close enough. The only other person that could set this straight is Russ. We’ll see if he does…..But until then, here’s my story.
Sunday, June 20th started out perfectly. My dad had decided to prolong his stay in Lincoln, as he hoped to be there when we went into labor. Thus, it was Sunday and Dad was here which could mean only one thing- DAD’s Famous Brunch. After eating brunch, we all just hung around the house because of the stormy weather.
I had texted my friend Katie (my due date buddy) to see how things were going for her as we were both over our due dates by 3 days. I received the text, “Girlfriend, we’re in your hood.” This meant that she was over at BryanLGH, which meant she was in LABOR! I texted her a couple times and found out, sure enough her water had broken in the morning and she was getting ready to have her baby. I thought to myself, how COOL, but I totally wish I was with her. I looked outside and thought, I love storms and how cool would it be to have a baby during all these storms.
Fast forward a bit to the evening time. I was having contractions, nothing that was out of the ordinary because I had been having them since 20 weeks. However, I felt that they were a bit more intense then before but maybe it was hopeful thinking. At around 11pm I decided that labor was not going to be happening today and I might as well get some sleep.
As I tried to get some sleep my contractions started becoming timeable, and they were strong. Around midnight, we heard a loud thud. Russ came running in the room and said, “I heard that and I’ll go figure out what it was.” A few minutes later, Russ stated “Ok. Well good news is that it isn’t the house. Bad news it is the Corolla.” I went outside with him, and saw the amazing site outside. Blowing mind, drizzle, and a HUGE branch on the back of my car. A contraction came and I decided that this wasn’t as big of deal right now, because I might be in labor.
Back I went to sleep, or at least to bed. I eventually convinced Russ to come to bed, as I really needed some support. Now every 8-10 minutes a contraction would come, and they definitely took my breath away. I started timing them with my iPhone application and it stated that I was in ACTIVE LABOR. Yeah, we will see about that….. So around 430am the contractions were coming down to 6-8 minutes apart and I told Russ, “I need a plan.” I was starting to really struggle through the contractions. Russ decided to make the call to the midwife. She told Russ to wait until my contractions were below 5 minutes and then call her back, because we would be going to the hospital. I spoke with Karen and told her that I had burning going on down there, and she said “GREAT! That’s what we want to hear.” Ahhh great.
So I tried to sleep through the contractions after that, but that was near to impossible. I continue to use my iphone application, and I started looking at the timing 4 minutes, 7 minutes, 5 minutes, 4 minutest, 4 ½ minutes. At 530am Russ said “Megan, we need to call Karen.” I was hesitant because part of me knew that this was probably “it”, but the other part of me was worried that maybe this was all false labor. Russ called Karen and told her that we were down to 5 minute contraction and she said GO TO THE HOSPITAL. Russ told me he was headed to go wake the parents, and I told him maybe we should go to the hospital first to make sure it’s REAL, and then we can go get them afterwards if it is… Russ looked at me and said, “Megan. I don’t think this is false, especially when you’re contractions get to the point they are right now.” Off he went to wake up my parents downstairs.
Russ states that he will never forget the look on my dad’s face. Russ went down and said, “it’s time to go to the hospital.” My dad jumped up, ran to Russ and gave him a big hug. I told Russ (again not fully convinced I’m in full labor), “Maybe we should wait to call your parents”. Russ again, said “I’m calling my parents. “
Off we went to the hospital, and I found myself stopping every 4 minutes while walking up to the Labor & Delivery floor due to contractions. They checked us in and we got a HUGE room. Once I changed into my gown, the nurse came into take my vitals and check my dilation and effacement. Considering I was 1-1 ½ on Saturday, I was waiting for her to say that I was maybe 2. NOPE. She said, “Oh hun. You are going to be pleasantly surprised. You are 5 ½-6, and 100% effaced.” WHOAH. I think it was that point that I said to myself, “Ok Megan. You are going to have this baby today HOLY CRAP. I’m having a baby today.” After checking vitals my blood pressure was up again. The nurse stated that because this was high, I would be limited in what I could do for laboring such as no walking, no bath, etc. I didn’t let it bug me too much but had high hopes that my blood pressure could come down.
After this point things begin to get a bit fuzzy. I had a new nurse that came in who was absolutely wonderful. She helped me get into new positions and once my blood pressure dropped a bit allowed me to walk around. Russ and I took to the halls. I have to say this was an amazing memory for me because Russ and I walked up and down the 4th floor. We talked, and walked, and squatted. Russ did his best to keep me laughing. We were in great spirits. In fact, when we got back to the room we put on some good Irish music and I was dancing around. I thought, wow, I can totally do this labor thing! Karen got in some time in the morning and saw me dancing. She stated “you are dilated to a 5 1/2 -6, but your emotional signposts are telling me you aren’t quite there yet.” I figured that was probably true.
At around 11am I was checked again, and I was at an 8. No pain meds. And I was still doing pretty darn good. I was having 4-7 minute contractions, and was able to breathe through them. At that point, I wanted Russ to tell me stories during my contractions. He told me stories about the Tetons, his time in Bosnia, and other things. He held my hand, rubbed my back, and told me I could do it. Being that I was at an 8, Karen was fairly confident that I would be having a child mid-afternoon. She was attending to another mother in the next room who was a bit further along than me. So the nurse was checking on me every 30 minutes, and Karen every hour or so. The further I got the more intense my level of smell. I was able to get food, and all I wanted was peanut butter. Russ got me a rice krispy bar, which I just couldn’t get myself to eat. He also brought in a brownie, which I had to hide because I COULD NOT STAND the smell of it.
Eventually, I got in the tub. This was FABULOUS! Russ got in with me and I just cuddled up to him and floated. I had ice chips, and peanut butter. I was checked a bit later and was only 8 ½. So after 3 hours of being in the tub, my midwife decided that she was going to break my water. It hadn’t broken on its own and she was hopeful that after breaking my water the labor would progress so that I could get past this transition phase. At around 330pm she broke my water, which was way less dramatic then I was thinking it would be…I think it consisted of a trickle.
After breaking my water my contractions were supposed to get a bit stronger. I didn’t notice much difference at first. I was then instructed by the new nurse-Lisa that I needed to try and walk around in my room. So I tried to push myself, because I knew that it would be good to keep things going. I walked in circles in my room. I asked Lisa if there was a possibility to get the tub water going again, in case Karen would let me get in. She started the water. Karen came in a bit later and said I could try the water again. In I went. I could tell that things were moving (slowly, but moving) because I was starting to grunt more to survive my contractions. Karen would say-you are getting close Megan. At that point, I didn’t think I would ever have the baby.
Karen decided to check me again while I was in the water. I was 9 ½ and the only thing we were waiting on was a lip around the cervix that needed to go away before I could push. Karen decided that during the next contraction she would hold the lip up in hopes that it would get me fully dilated. This was one of the most painful parts of the labor. HOLY goodness. I tried to get through the contraction like normal but instead was hollering “Ouey, ouey!!” I might have said something else, but can’t really remember now. Witnessing the pain that I had, Karen told me that she was not going to do that again, and we just had to wait until the lip disappeared.
So more contractions, more painful, and the thoughts started going through my head. “I can’t do this much longer. Please get me through this. I’m so tired. I don’t think I can do this. They need to just get him out. JUST GET HIM OUT.” Karen later told me at this point she decided that she just needed to take a walk. She told Lisa the nurse, that to please check me again and when she comes back please don’t let me stil be at 9 ½. Lisa went to check me, and she saw the head! I was 10! This meant that I could fully trust my body when it wanted to push.
At this point they were monitoring the baby in the water , and they started getting concerned. During contractions, the baby’s heartrate was dropping to 100. Karen told me that we needed to get me out of the water and hooked up to the baby monitor. At that point, I had this feeling of –“OH no something is wrong with the baby.” I let myself feel intense fear and then told myself that I just needed to focus on making it through. They would monitor my baby.
Once out of the water, I was on my knees on the bed. Time was around 6:40pm. I tried a couple contractions that way, and no progress. Then I went to my side, and Russ held my leg during a contraction. It was so frustrating because I would contract-feel the urge to push-push-and no one was doing anything. It was like nothing was happening. However, during a push on my side-the baby’s head CROWNED. It was like the energy in the room completely changed. We were having a baby.
Karen had me lay on my back and within a couple pushes the baby’s head was out! Karen had me reach down and feel the head. This was by far the weirdest thing for me. I don’t know why, but the head felt so tiny and gooey.
I have to say that without the amazing coaching of my midwife and nurse, I for sure would have passed out. After the head came out I just wanted to keep pushing, but was told that I needed to stop and breathe. This was so hard to do because my body said “PUSH” at the top of its lungs.
As I was getting my breath back, Karen had an assistant pouring on the hot oil. I was told to push again, and I gave several huge pushes along with craziest noises that a human being can make (ask Russ) and out came the baby at 7:10pm! They put him immediately on my chest and were warming him. I remember thinking how purple he looked. Then before I knew it they were pulling the emergency button and grabbing him away from me. I remember Karen telling me, “It’s okay Megan. You can hear him crying. They (the nurses) are just overreacting. He will be back over with you any minute.”
I remember feeling concerned for him, but also an overwhelming feeling of OH MY GOODNESS I’m so glad that is over. It was so painful, intense, amazing, and pretty much like no other experience in my whole life. After I came back to reality, I remember looking over at my baby and saying, “What is it??” We had no clue whether we had given birth to a boy or a girl. Multiple nurses replied back in unison, “It’s a boy.”
We've had some really great last couple of days. We have hung out with alot of our new friends that we made while pregnant. It is so cool to see us transform from being pregnant to having our babies. And honestly, I don't know what I would do without the camaraderie of these people. I feel normal when I'm around them and I get all kind of validation, which is a COUNSELORS best friend:)
So long milk, cheese, yogurt and ice cream. If saying goodbye to you means more happy and sleep time for my baby then it is worth it. If it doesn't, I'll be seeing you again.
I decided that it is SUPER easy to feel like I have no clue what I'm doing as a Mommy! But the reality is...i'm learning something new every single day. I decided that I'm going to focus on all the things I'm learning and have learned....and I'll try to post as often as possible!
Things I've Learned So Far....
-Don't feed Aylen and then stick him right in his carseat. Puking will happen.
-He enjoys his bouncer, but isn't to hot on the Aquarium that is directly above it (so we took it off).
-I'm closer to succeeding at the Moby Wrap. I know I'll love it, but it takes a bit to get used to how tight it needs to be.
-Aylen loves when you tap his bum multiple times while holding him. I learned that babies tend to enjoy rapid patting because it reminds them of the heartbeat in the womb.
-In the middle of the night-it is okay to wake others when I'm feeling very frustrated. (this is healthy and preferred).
-THAT EVERYONE has an opinion, but truly we have to do what works for us. And we aren't going to mess Aylen up (i'm working on this).
-I can take a nap when Aylen takes a nap.
-It is super important to keep doing the fun things with Russ. This includes ride on a motorcycle. Just because we are parents doesn't mean we have to stop riding. We are just as careful as we were before little man.
-I have figured out the PUMP. I still am not used to the PUMP, but I mean who really gets used to feeling like a milk machine.
-IT IS so important to keep in contact with other mothers. I don't know what I would do without them right now.
Ok that is it for right now...I'll continue to post.
-Momma Fruvellhoff
Prior to the arrival of this little guy, little could have prepared me for all the emotions that I would go through! I can't believe it! Aylen is sooo precious! And he definitely rules this house!
If you have talked to me or seen my posts on facebook you will see my crying posts. I heard about the crying stuff-but whoah was not really prepared. Crying at the drop of a hat, crying over good stuff, crying over bad stuff. It started on Day 4 (which I totally remember at my midwifes group & Day 4 was the doozy). I usually would cry once per day and I'm happy to say that I think I'm almost over it! But lord, add no sleep + crying once a day+ being a therapist and all the sudden I'm diagnosing myself with Postpartum Depression. A very real diagnosis, but I think I don't need to diagnosis myself...yet:)
The feeling of being a mom is quite overwhelming in both good and bad ways!...It is amazing-and sometimes surreal to realize that this little precious boy was in my tummy for 9 months. It just takes so long to sink in. He is so cute and has a bit of both Russ & I. Being a mom is a lot of pressure. The fact that AYLEN counts on us completely for his mere survival is intense. However; as a friend of mine put it-Megan's he was in your tummy for 9 months. You've been doing this already. And, that couldn't be more true. I feel blessed to have so many great family and friends who have children, and allow me to text and call them with MANY questions.
I feel like I'm just babbling about things...but that may be due to my 5 total hours of sleep last night:) Our little Aylen has decided that sometime between 11a-1a he will see how loud he can yell. Of course, he is always hungry when he does this but because he testing his lungs will not latch properly. As soon as I can trick him long enough, he is latched and then happy! But trying to survive that 10 minutes-1 hour of intense yelling is rough. So I don't quite know what this is...I'm on the hunt to find others that went through similar things so that we can feel NORMAL:)
I do have to say that we went to Milkworks (this amazing lactation consulting place) yesterday and found out that our lil Man weighs in at 8lbs 4 oz! WHOO-HOOO- he is more than his birth weight. This helped put me at ease because I knew that we were doing something right:)
What else......Grandma Deller leaves next Thursday, which will be a sad day in this household. She has been sooo helpful--cooking, cleaning, laundry, holding & changing Aylen, providing support in the middle of the night and many other things. Russ will go back to work for a couple days next week. That will also be sad.... I have the feeling that August 16th (my estimated return to work date) will be coming up toooo soon! I have lots of playdates with fellow friends that need to be scheduled, walks to take, cuddles to do, books to read, etc.
OH and lastly! WE bought a car--a 2003 4Runner. Russ calls this my PUSH present. I would have to say BEST.PUSH.PRESENT.EVER. Well Aylen, was my best PRESENT. But the 4Runner isn't bad:)
Ok-goodness....this has been my journal. I hope you enjoy!
-momma.
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