we must do that which we think we cannot.

We gain strength, and courage, and confidence by each experience in which we really stop to look fear in the face... we must do that which we think we cannot.  -Eleanor Roosevelt.

I made a decision, a really tough decision this past week. 

Let's back up.  When i was an undergraduate at UNL I saw a flier for place called RSACC.  They were doing a volunteer training to help victims of domestic violence, sexual assault and other forms of abuse.  I felt like I needed to do this training.  I did.  And I found my passion.  I stayed connected through RSACC (which became Voices of Hope) through volunteering with the crisis line, serving as an Enhanced Advocate and going to the hospital for victims of sexual assaults and domestic violence, as an intern with the MSW program, and lastly as the Groups Coordinator.  I feel like a piece of my heart will be always be with Voices of Hope.  It was awesome to be at a place that thought like me.  I didn't have to explain myself, they just "got it".  I learned alot about myself and others here at Voices of Hope.  I gained FRIENDS that have been through SO MUCH with me.  Who let me cry, vent, laugh and BE ME around them.  Honestly, you know when you were little and you would fall and everything was fine, but then you would see your Mom and Dad..and all the sudden those tears would come rolling down.  Well that is the effect that Voices of Hope has on me...That's the best example I can think of to describe the greatness of this place...

Then I had a child.  And people say having a child changes everything.  I couldn't have planned or EVEN predicted how Aylen would change me and my priorities.    So now when I worked my weekends--I desperately wanted to be home with my family.  When I answered that crisis line in the middle of the night-It almost always woke Aylen up, which meant it woke Russ up, which meant we were up for awhile trying to calm Aylen down.  I knew I needed to keep my eyes open for something else.

Then a job for School Therapist became available.  I applied.  I interviewed.  I was offered, and I accepted.  It all happened super fast.

So starting January 3, 2011 I will be starting my new position as a School Therapist with Child Guidance Center.  I will be housed 4/5 days at Lincoln Northstar High School.  I will not work weekends.  I will not be on-call.  And I will occasionally have to work nights.  As most people ask, I will WORK the summers.  And I will be challenged clinically. 

It is something new.  And it scares me.  I will be leaving behind some really awesome people (however, I KNOW where you all work & live, and I WILL always be your friend.  Whether you like it or not!).  I slightly panic sometimes about my decision.  But I know it will be good for me.  And I will love working with teens--it will not be awesome everyday, but that is with anything you do.  I will be overwhelmed, especially at first.  But I had a teacher in grad school that said, "If anyone asks you to do something- you ALWAYS say Yes.  Then you freak out.  Then you figure out how to do it."  My dad reminded me of this yesterday.  And that is what I'm doing.  I said Yes.  I'm freaking out.  And I'll figure out what I'm doing later.  I will succeed.

And I'm pretty sure I have figured a piece of life out through this process.  It can best be summed up by a quote that my friend Marla has in her email--- "And the day came when the risk to remain tight in a bud was more painful than the risk it took to blossom.
Anais Nin" 

I made a decision that was for me, and most importantly my family. So here's to the New Year-for big changes, freaking out, and Finding MY way.

Love,
Momma

PS.  And Can I say--Happy 1/2 year Birthday to my sweet Aylen John! Love you!