Random Amazingness of Nature Post

I keep wanting to document this, but haven't yet.  And now that Ryker is sleeping I can:) I jinxed it..he just started crying.  Well we will see if my 1-handed typing skills are up for the challenge.

When we were in the hospital, Ryker had a high respiration rate and they were a bit concerned.  They had him hooked up to the oxygen level machine, and that darn thing was sooo annoying because if Ryker's oxygen levels dropped below 90% it would start beeping.  His dipped to 88 almost all night which meant LOUD, annoying beeping all night long.

However, this is the beautiful part, whenever he was nursing his oxygen levels would always be at 100%.  I just thought that was so cool and such an amazing sign of how perfect our bodies are and how  Ryker's body responded perfectly to me!

So cool!

Love, Momma

Crafty Crafterson!

I love being crafty, but have a hard time doing it.

Sometimes I feel guilty for taking time to do it, sometimes I'm so tired that it feels like I have to do it, but ultimately craft time makes me feel better!

So here is one project that we just completed big thanks to Della and Russ who helped!

The Credenza!

We bought this big boy (& I don'tsay this lightly anyone that has helped us to move this knows IT's heavy!)...at a UNL surplus sale for......$1.00

add on knobs $17.00, brushes $4.00 and we already had the paint!  So this excellent piece for $22.00!

the whole picture!













and lastly...thank you Pinterest for the inspiration for this growth chart. I love growth charts because my Grandparents on the Hoffman side had a board in their basement that us cousins used!  So this is liking bringing that to our kids now!

 thats all for now...but more crafts are in the works!

love,
momma

Momma, please Dont forget....

The way Ryker coos and then usually giggles when he has just fallen asleep in my arms.

The sound that Aylen's feet makes when he is running as fast as he can in he house.

The cuddle time that usually occurs at 6am with Ryker on the left side and Aylen on the right side in bed.

How sweet Aylen is to Ryker when he insists on giving him the 100th kiss of the day, holding his hand, putting the blanket on him, and singing to him.

Speaking of Aylen's awesomeness at being a big brother. Momma don't forget yesterday when you experienced just how much Aylen has grown up. I was going to the bathroom with the door wide open. Across from me Ryker was swinging in The swing, which stopped moving. Immediately Ryker began crying. I hollered to Aylen who was in the living room playing with his toys. He came running into the dining room, and I asked him if he could push the swing for Ryker. He did exactly as I asked, Ryker quit crying and Aylen then ran back to his toys. It was an awesome moment of listening and understanding, helping mom out and taking care of little brother:)

The joy that I feel when I hear Russ playing and talking with Aylen during bathtime and how my hearts grows for Russ when I hear him read books to Aylen over the monitor at night.

How Ryker is so little yet he can follow me everywhere with his eyes!

And that is only some of the moments I've experienced lately that I hope I can always remember. It's why I do this blog so that when I'm older, I can remember these moments. Maybe the boys will appreciate reading this stuff, or maybe their significant others will. But I know I will enjoying reminiscing with Russ about these years...we just watched Alan Jacksons music video for "Remember When...". And it's awesome. Watch it.


Ok enough babble for 4am;)

Love, momma

Somethings get Easier

I just got off the phone with my MIL and our conversation reminded me how I NEEDED to make a post about this... 

Almost one year ago I posted this Post .

And little did I know a year later I would be back on the breastfeeding wagon.  I was nervous about it...well not nervous but I guess I wasn't looking forward to bfing as much as I was the first time with Aylen.  Maybe because I know how hard it can be.  My fellow BFing Mommas told me that my feelings would change after seeing my baby.

Well they did.  I instantly knew that breastfeeding was the only way to go for Ryker.  And I have decided that it isn't breastfeeding that is necessarily hard, it's the pumping (which I happen to be doing right now as I work on my extra supply for when I go back to work).  

So this picture represents something very cool for me.  This is 1 1/2 weeks-ish after having Ryker.  We took Aylen to the park and Ryker got hungry.  I sat down and started breastfeeding.  I had Della take a picture.  I love it because I WOULD have never dreamed of doing this with Aylen a week after having him.  Shoot-I still couldn't latch him, I was nervous I was gonna Janet Jackson myself for everyone to see,etc etc.  But here I am feeding Ryker and you can't even TELL!  Woot for second time breastfeeding being easier!

Love ,
Momma

how can I control....

my life, if I can't control my hair.
-Author Unknown

1. 

















2.

3.

And because it's fun to play with 12 inches of hair.

Love, 
Momma

life is hard. then it gets easy. and then it gets harder.

this was an awesome quote from my friends Julia and Phil when I was trying to tell Aylen how life can be hard.  Eek.  I'm afraid that is my answer to him and Ryker when they are struggling--I think I might be substituting this phrase instead of "life isn't fair".  Oh dear.  I am a parent.

Anyways...without telling my whole life story--I suppose that should be told only in my personal diary.  But life has been a bit hard lately.  I guess it's times like this where you really find out what you are made of, who your friends are, and how important working hard towards what you want is.  This is when growth truly happens.  I think of it maybe like lifting weights (which I desperately want to do..mind you).  You have to push yourself, and then you're in a bit of pain if you pushed yourself right, and then afterwards you are left with these awesomely toned muscles that were created due to your hard work.  That is life, that is relationships, that is parenthood. 

I feel like it is important to talk the truth about various life events with the hope that maybe it starts to reduce the stigma or maybe makes it a little easier for someone else to know that they aren't crazy or weird for going through what they are going through.  For example, I never hid that I had a miscarriage because I felt like I had a couple close people in my life that were brave enough to share their story of miscarriage before I had mine.  It made A HUGE difference, because when it happened to me I didn't think i was the only one.  So anyways...I feel like I'm a bit all over, but all this relates to it's been hard lately.

Having a baby is rough stuff.  Pregnancy is amazing but there are tough things that one goes through.  You lose your body, you lose the ability to practice many of your coping skills for better or worse (working out hard, drinks, etc), you have emotions up the wazoo!  Then the baby comes and I have this book that best describes what it does to a relationship..."having a baby is like dropping a bomb into the relationship."  Now this is partly true and partly not.  For me having babies was this magical experience that physically demonstrated the love that Russ and I have for each other.  But it also got hard too.  You don't have sleep, you're life pace changes dramatically, and emotions are crazy once again.  Anyways-I feel like it is good to spread the word that having babies also can create different dynamics within a relationship, highlight areas that need strength and all of THIS is NORMAL.  It's the growth part, and it may be a bit painful...but if you can push through it and not give up good things can happen.

Also, crying can happen in large amounts after a baby.  It's true.  Recipe to help this =SLEEP and getting out of the house.  True story all of it.

Anyways, life is good.  but life is hard too, then it gets easy, and then it gets harder.  and darn aren't they worth it!!!


Love,
Momma

Guess what we did for NYE?

We had our 2-day Midwife appointment down in Denver NYE morning.  The Midwife was a little concerned about Ryker's jaundice, so she heel poked him (heel poke #1) to get his levels.  Multiple other semi-concerns popped up- a bit high respiration level,  and a loss of 7% of birth weight.  We left the appointment with the advice just to continue to breastfeed and she would call us when the jaundice results came in later that afternoon.

We went home, played, napped, ate and then decided why not get some extra rays just in case...




Pretty sure minutes after I took this picture we got the call from the Midwife stating that Ryker's levels were above the cutoff and they wanted us to go to the hospital to get him checked out.  She warned me that there was a great chance we would have to stay overnight and potentially a couple of days since "they don't like to let 2-day olds get very far".  GULP.  I got off the phone and completely lost it.  Combine hormones, tiredness, and the FACT that we purposely avoided birthing in a hospital and now we had to go there and survive all the tests that were going to happen to our little man.

Russ took charge of calling multiple people to make sure that this was the best decision, and found out that indeed it was.  We packed our bags, said Goodbye to Aylen (thank god Grandma was here, because otherwise it would have been me taking Ryker and Russ staying with Aylen), and headed to Longmont Hospital.  We arrived and everyone was admiring our cutie.  I said thanks, and avoided eye contact because I had those lovely RED,RED, puffy eyes from crying my eyes out.  

The ER doctor requested multiple tests be ran to rule out...well honestly he NEVER told us what the tests were for but through our own work found out there were to rule out infection, as well as test Ryker's billirubin levels again.  THIS SUCKED.  This was the exact reason that I was so bummed about the hospital visit.  Ryker had his heel poked twice and squeezed so hard because he was not "bleeding enough".  UGH.  Thank god the nurses were so kind and tried their best to make it tolerable.   So Ryker laid on the GIGANTIC ER bed with two nurses squeezing and poking his heel, while I talked to him and kissed his head.  They still weren't getting enough blood so they ended up deciding to do an IV.  I know my nurse friends/family know this, but I never thought of an IV for a 2-day old.  It made me sick to my stomach.  Poor little Ryker.  Thank goodness again that the nurse was awesome and found his lil arm vein on the first try.  They attached a board to his arm so that IV was secure.  He also had an x-ray done to rule out any type of chest issues.  He did amazingly well and slept through it.


 After getting the billirubin levels back it was decided that we were going to get admitted into the Peds Unit.  They transported us up there and we were introduced to our awesome nurse, who also had a son named Ryker.  


After finally being able to consult with Ryker's doctor we all decided that Ryker would have the IV taken out (GRRrrr-for even putting it in!) and that because his levels were borderline he did not need to be under the Billi-lights at all.  Our doctor felt that since we were already at the hospital it made sense to just stay and have him monitored and that we were do another blood test in the am and if his levels were okay we could go home.  I was very excited to hear that the IV could come out, and even more excited about no billi-lights because this hospital did not have the fancy blanket-but rather the bed that he had to sleep in and we would not be able to hold him:(


We all got settled and Russ fell asleep in his chair around 11pm.  Ryker and I fell asleep just in time to not ring in the new year.  I swear, Ryker knew that he needed to have a good Billi level in the morning, because he nursed EVERY hour on the HOUR and single-handedly got my milk to come in overnight.  This was ultimately what needed to happen so that he could have better levels.  So combine nursing every hour with the DARN Oxgen level machine that would beep EVERY 5 minutes it was an Awesome night.  This was us after pretty much, maybe 2 hours of sleep...

Levels were checked in the morning and the results dropped Ryker from the High Risk down into the Low Risk category.  We were hopeful that this meant we were going home!  Russ had all of our bags packed and ready to go by 8am (the time our doctor stated that he would be in).  TWO HOURS later (which felt like an ETERNITY) our doctor showed up, checked Ryker out, and gave us the go ahead to go home.  I'm pretty sure we were out of the building within a minute.  


What an experience, and not a NYE I ever, EVER, ever want to repeat.  Ryker is doing fine, his coloring looks almost perfect now and he weighed 9lbs 3oz last Wednesday, which mean he was 4 oz over his birth weight in less than 1 week!  HALLELUJAH!  Perfect news for this nursing Mama to hear!



(Sidenote-I seriously have so much respect for parents of sick children...who have to stay at the hospital or visit frequently.  I couldn't quit thinking of Russell's parents who were in and out of hospitals and doctors all the time with Russell's sister, Jenny.  How unfair for everyone involved..life is definitely not supposed to be like that.  The powerless feeling with your own child in pain or discomfort is seriously probably the worst feeling that I have EVER felt in my life.)   

I feel so relieved that everything turned out okay for our little Ryker.  And ultimately, as frustrating as the visit was-it was and will always be better to be safe than sorry.  But it sucked.

Love,
Momma

How's Aylen?

Can I first say it is really nice to blog without having to think of a darn letter to match my current ALPHABET letter!!!  ahh...it was a great idea in theory but dang.  Made me think extra hard each time!

So...anyways.  The question that we get asked first by most people is....HOW's Aylen doing??

I thought I'd include some photos to show just HOW AWESOME Aylen is doing with being a big brother!

Can we get a WOOT WOOT for Being a Big Brother!

This was Aylen's first meeting with Ryker!  At first he gave him this look like, "who are you?"  And then within minutes he wanted to touch his eyes, head, mouth, and nose.

For the first couple of days Aylen wanted to hold RYKER all the time!  It was super cute!  He would point at Ryker and we would ask, "Do you want to hold your little brother?" AND he would nod his head!

Aylen is continually offering to help when Ryker starts crying.  As evidenced by trying to place the pacifier in his mouth.  Dad had to take it away because Aylen got a little too determined for it to go in his mouth:)  

Aylen insists that Ryker have a blanket on at all times and if he does not have one he promptly goes and gets him one.  So CUTE! 

  
Here's a perfect example of Aylen demonstrating his big brother skills!  He rocked his brother.  And we usually have to ask permission to put Ryker in or take him out of the swing!! Hah!


So all in all Aylen is adjusting to his little brother wonderfully.  He has been having some lovely behaviors with his parents-open slaps on the face (which are particularly awesome because you think he is going to kiss you, but instead you get slapped).  He loves to hit his Momma especially.  This definitely was going on a bit before little brother but it has been in full force lately!  

We started Aylen back to daycare this past Wednesday.  I'm still going through a bit of Momma Guilt as Russ is technically at home (working from home) and Grandma is here.  And not to mention Ryker is being an awesome baby...BUT Aylen had been out of daycare for 3 weeks with vacation and Grandpa being here-so I felt like a bit of normal might be good for him.  He seems to really enjoy his friends there and he does not seem too mad when we pick him up....UGH. Swallow.  It's okay, Momma daycare is good.  Say it together...DAYCARE IS GOOD FOR AYLEN JOHN.

Sleep is funny because Ryker is seriously acting like a "normal" baby.  He sleeps 3 hours at a time at night, wakes up to nurse, and then falls right back asleep. But since Ryker was born, Aylen has been STRUGGLING with sleep.  So far we have had him wake up and be almost in a manic state from 1am-4am.  He has really resisted going to bed, even though he is SUPER tired.  I guess some regression is par for the course.  But...dang.  We are more tired due to Aylen than Ryker.  Funny how that works!

Lastly, I wanted to put up this comparision of Ryker and Aylen!  It was so great because after Aylen was born Russ went around showing everyone his baby picture and comparing it to Aylen.  Now, Russ is showing everyone Aylen's birth picture and comparing it to Ryker.  Twins, I'm telling you!  It will be really fun to see if we have a Blonde haired/Blue eyed boy again or if Daddy is going to show up in there with some Brown hair/Brown eyed traits!

Love to all,
Momma

Ryker Lee’s Birth Story

The Birth Story of you...

Thursday, December  22^nd-False start on the Offense # 1.  8 minute contractions for at least an hour and we were pumped.  A baby that came on their due date, heck yes!  So we called the Midwife and down to the Birth Center we went.  On the way my contractions came every 3 minutes and I became convinced that we were probably having a baby.  Short but sweet—we got there, I measured at a 4, contractions fizzled while we slept. And by 5am we were headed out the door to Denny’s and then Walmart with the hope we could stoke up the fire by walking and taking some Cotton Root Bark (disgusting stuff).  No such luck.  To Longmont we headed. 

Saturday, December 25^th-False start on the Offense #2.  6-8 minute contractions for at least an hour and I wasn’t convinced.  But Russ knew that if this baby did indeed decide to come and we were hanging out too long at home, he would be the guy in the back of the 4Runner delivering a baby on I-25 (Birth center was 45 minutes away).  So off we went down to Denver.  I knew that even though these were timeable contractions they were nowhere near the intensity that we needed to make this baby come out.  Russ and I headed to an outdoor mall and attempted to walk around.  It was cold, really cold.  We then headed to an RTD (mass transit) parking garage and I decided it would be a good idea to run stairs.  Yes I said, RUN.  A 10 month pregnant woman running stairs with her husband on Christmas Night…yea it was memorable.  I figured that if that didn’t get labor started then, obviously labor wasn’t supposed to start that night anyways.  Yea.  No luck.  To Longmont we headed.

Tuesday, December 27^th- False start on the Offense #3.  5-10 minute contractions from 10pm until 4am.  I woke up EVERY contraction and was not amused.  But I again wasn’t convinced that we were going have a baby.  What do you know…after 4am I slept without any more contractions.  No baby today.

Wednesday, December 28^th- Russ and I decided that we were done just waiting around and we needed some friend time.  We were going to do dinner in Loveland with our friends the Merlers.  As we headed up, I was having some decent contractions but due to all the false starts I figured here we go again.  At the Merler’s house, I realized that I was having to breathe a big harder a lot due to contractions and figured maybe I should time them.  4-5 minutes in between contractions-made Russ’s ears perk up.  I was determined to continue my girl-talk with Mandy, but continued to time them.  3-5 minutes and Russ was getting a little nervous and called the Midwife.  We got strict orders that if this continued for 30 more minutes that we needed to start heading down to the Birth Center.  My fear was that this was False start on the Offense #4.  But dah well…again Russ was not in the mood to deliver a baby on the interstate.  We headed to Longmont, dropped Aylen off with the grandparents, and down to the Birth Center we went. 

When we arrived to the Birth Center I was still contracting every 3-5 minutes, but still talking and walking comfortably.   At this point, the midwife measured me at a 5.  The midwife asked us to try several things and see if we could get some contractions started.  So we did stairs, the birthing ball, walked around, and tried different positions.  Nothing.  Well contractions but still it wasn’t hard and we all knew that if we were going to have a baby today easy was not going to cut it.  Around 1130pm, we all decided together that breaking the water was the next step.  This is when the tone changed…

It is always so interesting to look back and see the different signposts of labor show up in my behavior.  So before the water broke, Russ and I were joking, the lights were on, and I was pretty sure I wasn’t going into “real” labor.  And then after my water was broken, the lights were dimmed, I grew quiet and focused.  I spent an hour or so on a birthing ball, breathing through the contractions.  Russ used this time to get in some sleep before the craziness begin.  As my contractions began to pick up in intensity the midwife gave me the go to get into the tub.  I spent the rest of my time there, well most of it.

Russ sat on the edge of the tub and did whatever I needed him to do.  I tried several positions to get comfortable, and squatting seemed to be the best.  I remember thinking at this point, “I don’t think I want to do this,” “Yup, I’m not gonna do this,” “done”.  And somewhere in all of that I realized that I didn’t really have a choice.  

At 3am, the baby’s head crowned.   Last time with Aylen I was so tired that I seriously do not remember much of the end.  So it was really amazing to be able to recall the moments when I felt the baby move down and out.  I pushed for 18 minutes and not a second more.  As soon as the baby’s head was out the Midwife saw that he had a hand beside his head so they immediately had to get me out of the tub.  This was probably the most uncomfortable moment when I had a head sticking out of me and had to be transferred from the tub to the floor.  Russ was pretty much in charge of lifting me up with the help of the midwife and the nurse.  As soon as I was on the ground, I gave a final push while Russ held my legs one way and the Midwife and nurse pulled the baby out the other way. 

And at 318am out came our second born child.  Russ was able to make the gender call and I remember him saying, “Definitely a boy!”  Again, Momma intuition was right!  I was then transferred onto a nice big bed, where we stayed for a couple more hours .  The Midwife and nurse left us alone, untouched for an hour.  At that time they came in and Russ cut the chord, and checked us over.   We then were left alone and we had a family nap time while nursing (our little guy picked it up right away!)  After our nap, I went in and took a herbal bath and later was joined by our little man Ryker Lee.  By 730am we were headed out of the Birth Center on our way home.  People think it is crazy that we checked into the Birth Center at 9pm and were gone by 730am, but it seriously was amazing.  We were able to go home and rest in our beds without people coming into poke and prod at us. 

My thoughts on this birth:  There is seriously nothing like that feeling of pushing your baby out.  There are no words to describe the experience but amazing.   I was able to do this birth just like Aylen’s, unmedicated and I feel very grateful for that opportunity.  I love challenge and I love knowing that I put in all that hard work and Ryker was the prize at the end.  Besides hoping for a healthy birth, I had several goals this time of being able to have an actual water birth, squatting, and really allowing my body to natural push (last time it was so forced).  I again, was pushes away from actually having a water birth but it was out of my control.  Squatting worked wonders for me and I am glad that I did it.  And finally, I was able to really allow my body to push when it felt the need.  It was so much easier that way.

Ryker Lee was born at 318am on December 29, 2011 (a week after his due date) weighing in at 8lbs 15oz and 22 ¼ in long.  He had dark brown hair, and blue-grey eyes, and looked almost identical to his older brother Aylen when he was a newborn.  It was a perfect birth and reminded me how amazing life is.

I love you little Ryker.

-Momma