Curable

This past year I struggled through some decent pain in my knee only during the  nighttime and while sitting. I finally went to check it out and was diagnosed with a shredded meniscus, and the recommendation was surgery to clean it out.

Fast forward, I did surgery and experienced limited mobility but with the exception of a couple days I was back up and at em!  I was grounded from running for 6 weeks, which was hard.  During recovery I experienced decent hip pain and reoccurring knee pain....etc. You know what...I sound old when I explain my pain. Let’s just say my left knee still hurts at night and when l sit. So that’s annoying, but possible diagnosis of hip impingement. It’s basically a Hoffman heirloom.

Fast double forward to Thanksgiving. Freak stupid accident, and my right (the good) knee takes a small bend and pop-pop-pop. I found out later I tore my ACL. I mean honestly, games and games of basketball and no real injury. But a small bend and BOOM! 

Now I’m looking to another surgery in a week. This one will be an hour longer, with 6x the recovery people of my last one. They’ll be crutches and braces and probably some tears. 

I found myself going through some unhelpful thoughts: why me? I’m broken. I’m old. I’ll never be the same again. My body is failing. I’m going to hurt something else. 

I’ve been leaning into more sport psychology and have some reading materials on the neuroscience regarding pain. I’m super interested on the benefits of mindfulness while I work through this rehab.

I learn so much from following other people’s lessons. “Instead of focusing on what you can’t do, focus on what you can do.” “Pain is interpreted through your brain and you don’t have to believe what you think.” “Everyday you get 1% better.” “Injuries allow you to strengthen all parts of you.”

In the end, this is just bump in the road. But my road is small compared to others. We have secured a bike in the basement.  I have awesome tools to help me: a cryocuff, elevation tool, and this awesome thing that goes over my incision so I can easily take showers!

I know the journey will be that, a journey. I created my mantra that I recite at night to calm my anxieties and ease any of my discomfort. 

I am peace. I am calm.

I am strong. I am healing.

I hold my mala and it makes me happy.

Mom