The Wrap Up

It is New Year's Eve.  Meg and I are sitting at the dining room table here on Tyrrhenian, knocking out some last minute blog posts for our undefined readers of our blog book.  I'm sure you number in the millions by now, either as followers of the Fruvellhoff religion, or perhaps as admirers/supporters of one of our amazing children... hopefully in the vein of trying to understand the parenting style that produced one/some of the most well-balanced humans in the history of humanity, right?  Sorry, off on a tangent there!  Where was I....

Oh right, we're sitting here listening to the last Christmas songs of the season, reflecting back on the year of us humans two thousand and twenty-one.  We had plans for Granny Barb and Papa to be watching our kids right now while we are out on a date to the West Side Tavern on 3rd, the package was a nice gift from them for my birthday.  YET, that plan was not meant to be.  It is snowing heavily out, 2 of our kids have COVID, and a few other seemingly genuine reasons are in fact keeping us in tonight. Yet another Holiday quarantining at home.  As we are here and now, so were we for much of 2021.  This must be the theme of the year.  

Moments of literary note from our year:

Coronavirus.  The pandemic is currently reaching new peaks here in the U.S. thanks to the Omicron variant (though also thankfully, it isn't nearly as severe of an illness).  Still, everyday life continues to be disrupted.  The kids all had COVID over Thanksgiving, and so we had quarantined for 3 weeks then (not really that much different for me since I've been WFH 100%).  We just got back from visiting the cousins in Kearney with 24 hrs of complete fun: Holiday Inn pool swimming fun, Big Apple wallet-emptying fun, and general cousin craziness fun.  AJ and Dempsey had cold symptoms, we tested AJ and turns out he now has COVID again, poor fella.  Of the 3 kids, it has hit him the hardest on both occasions.  Anyhow, now that Christmas break is coming to an end, OF COURSE we are now looking at another 10 day quarantine, if not longer.  

Fellowship of the Ring.  I'm talking about me and Megan here.  Our marriage.  Our relationship.  For some reason, we continue to get along quite well!  We support each other almost all of the time, still have a huge affect on one another upon sight, communicate better than ever, and genuinely love each other.  We both know that we can depend on each other no matter what the circumstances.  Part of this I attribute to hard work in earlier years forging communication and trust, and yet part of this is unexplainable.  Regardless of the causes of our success on this front, I am so happy that we remain strong as 2 rocks.

Russ turned 40.  No big party, no surprise sabbatical, no shiny new mid-life crisis corvette... though I did trade up to a newer shiny Ford truck I suppose....rather, only a small family get together... with hibachi!  Honestly, this was all I wanted.  Perhaps I've gotten used to a more subdued life during the pandemic.  Will I ever crave the limelight again?  On being 40... I've been filled with nothing but gratitude this past year, for all of the experiences which have brought me to this time in my life and afforded me so much, gratitude for all of the people who have helped me along my journey, and gratitude for my wonderful little family.  As I've told people, when I try to think about how much life could be better, I tend to come up short.

Career Success.  We both continue to evolve in our lives as all living things do.  Meg and I seem to have each built careers on a mixture of opportunism and determination.  Meg is having great success turning into an outreach educator basically, by building and hosting continuing education classes for fellow SVVSD folks, and by doing staff presentations on mindfullness, self-care, etc.  Making some serious side-hustle coin all while creating the job that she wants!  As for me, I seem to be doing alright in my role at AWS, with everyone telling me I should get promoted.  So I finally relented, put in the documentation and essay-writing work, and readied my own promotion package.  We shall see, but I am expecting this to go through with a 10-15% bump in the next 6 months.

Hawaii.  Need I say more?  It was awesome and we talk frequently about when we can go back.  See prior blog post.

Basement Numero Dos.  Done.  And it rocks.  In many ways, basement 1.0 was quite the prototype for basement 2.0  So proud and thankful for all of Meg's hard work in knocking this one out.  Lady can throw up some WALLS!

Cheers, to an even more fun and exciting journey in 2022!

-R

Dropped Into Planet Teen: Where's the Manual?

Oh AJ.  In the last month or so it seems we have covered MANY topics that I knew were coming, but somehow wasn't exactly prepared to do RIGHT NOW.   

Grades:  So AJ earned himself a 4.0 first quarter.  Second quarter was a bit of a different story midway through (and spoiler alert-he ended up with a 4.0 again).  He never had any "bad" grades, but it wasn't the 4.0.  We had multiple conversations regarding "what's the point of grades?"  At some point AJ heard from my lengthy dialogue (I need to work on this) that "grades didn't matter."  HOW he came to this conclusion-I'm not entirely sure, but there was many conversations of why they matter, and what grades represent.  I even had to take a look at my (ridiculous standards) regarding grades and realize that I didn't want to raise a child that was a BIT nuts like I was regarding grades.  It really has been a fascinating journey of supporting your kid in WANTING to get good grades, but not because you are MAKING them to it.  

Death:  AJ came into our room a week ago and was pretty weepy.  He said "I don't want to die too soon."  My best guess is that this thinking came from a conversation we had earlier regarding our dog Sam.  AJ made the comment, "Well we are all dying."  As true as this statement was, I couldn't help but wonder if this realization that he had (most definitely told to him by us at multiple points) was hard.  BECAUSE it is hard, and so many people live their lives trying to be oblivious to the fact that death is all part of life.  Sweet AJ was really thinking about it all, and it led to a big long conversation that went it multiple directions thanks to his parents and our wonderful brains!  I told AJ about something that I talk with the parents at my school about- middle school is a time when they take their glasses off and see the world in a whole new way with all these emotions attached to it all.  It really was that kind of moment for him!

There have been a few other things including a lunch detention-learning the ways of different teachers with different expectations can be hard!  It's hard being a mom and on one hand not wanting your kid to experience hard times, but yet being *secretly* thrilled when the lifeguard calls him out because it takes a village to raise good people.  

We just watched Rise of the Guardians recently, and I can't help but think about what AJ's center is/will be.  It might be his golden quiet heart that is there for people when they need it.  It might be his engineer brain-that loves to see how things work and wonder about how things could be different.  All I know is that he is very patient with us as we navigate the teenage world with him, and I'm very grateful for that!

Love you AJ,

Mom

10.

RykerMAN is 10.  10.  I'm still trying to wrap my brain around the fact we have 2-2 digit kids in this house.  SUPER DUPER crazy.  

Ryker is the try-er of all things.  He has the famous quote:  "I want to do all the things."  AND it continues to be true.  See post of him recently trying out snowboarding.  He is signed up for basketball this season, which makes me SUPER excited!  I'm the coach and I really don't want to mess up his experience at all!  

Ryker takes school seriously.  He was invited to come into school early and get pushed a bit more in both reading and math.  He chose math.  AND he chose to do it!  Not every kid is interested in going to school earlier than necessary.

Ryker loves his quiet as much as he is a rascal himself.  His grandparents bought him his own noise cancelling headphones and he legit used them the first night and fell asleep right on the couch.  When I drove him and his friends to our local trampoline park, he encouraged everyone to play the quiet game.  :) Much appreciated!

Ryker really can't stand Dempsey.  I truly hope this will change, but my goodness these two.  Dempsey is WAY more interested in being a part of his crew, and he is HARDLY ever having it.  

Ryker is just so sentimental.  During his birthday party he came up and said, "Thanks Mom for this party, it's such a good time."  He seems to say gems like this all the time.  

He really is such a cool blend of Russell and me.  1 more year and this kid heads off to middle school.  I'm part fearful and part so stoked for what it will entail for him:)

Love you Ryk,

Mom

Adventures with Ryker: Snowboarding Edition

 We bought Ryker a snowboard, bindings, and boots for his birthday.  He said multiple times over the past year that he wants to snowboard (we're always listening!).  Turns out our good friends the Addingtons had gotten snowboards for Mya and Trevor also, so we set up a joint private lesson for the 3 of them. I checked in on them a couple of times and witnessed the same scene that every new snowboarder goes through.  Heel side, toe side, leaning toward the mountain, and lots of falling and getting up!  Also the mere act of strapping in and getting out of the snowboard at the top and bottom of the hill is at least half of the battle in and of itself.  After a 3 hr lesson, Ryke was soooo hungry and tired.   

I thought he may want to head up and do some of the green slopes after lunch, but nope! 

Meanwhile, Kelly Kyle Mark and I got in a few sweet shredding runs!

Proud of this guy for having a true zest for trying things in life; this is what makes life interesting and exciting, Ryker!  -R

Sweet Moments

As much as these kids can drive us bonkers….there has been some real sweet moments.

•We were on a date night and I came home to Dempsey’s poster above my bed.

•Dempsey was working on math homework, and pretty soon we see AJ on the ground helping her.

•Ryker and Russell came to my Staff vs. Student basketball game. When we were leaving Ryker said “I love that you’re my mom and a counselor. It’s so cool.” My guess is he saw how much I interacted with students and that they thought I was worth talking to…& just maybe that’s pretty cool.

•Ryk was solely responsible for finding our Christmas tree this year and cutting it down by himself.

Love Monma!

The Basement

 Very glad to finally have the basement finished!  In many ways, this project was a total repeat of our basement project from 4 years ago.  We finished it the end of September, though we were shooting for end of May.  The other basement also went longer than we thought it would, finishing in the end of October if memory serves..  

One of the big differences with this basement project is the amount of help I've had!  I'm SUPER proud of Meg; she built and hung many of the walls, ran wiring, connected up nearly all of the outlets herself!  The kids also helped a little here and there: cutting boards, screwing screws, also helping with the electrical outlets.  I remember being quite lonely on the first basement project; I was mostly down there working by myself, just powering through while Meg was powering through watching the kids on her own.  Huge difference with this basement project.

We have been really enjoying having it done!  Meg has been crafting like crazy and also enjoying having her own personal space down there.  We absolutely love cuddling and watching movies in the theater.  Also, the workout room is pretty killer; Meg has been getting swoll!  We still need to have the seminal bar grand opening party, I'm sure that will come soon enough; there's already talk of having Meg's annual school Christmas party here...

8

Dempsey Girl is 8!  For some reason I want to say she is 9 and I have to remind myself that she is only 8:). It's that sass, maybe.  Dempsey has such an interesting personality. She can be so loud and talkative and very much like a leech.  She wants to be with you EVERY single minute.  She'll want to hangout in the shower with me, or by the bathroom when I need to go pee, or cuddle after we hung out all day.  It's like she can't get enough.  I try to remind myself how sweet this is, and then other times I'm like "GO DO SOMETHING ELSE:)". She loves cuddling and hanging out with me, and she loves wrestling with Russell. I sometimes wonder about her friend situation, but she has been the most disrupted socially due to the pandemic.  She has yet to experience a "normal" year of school.  I'm saying this as she is still in quarantine from having Covid.  Luckily she has pretty much zero symptoms.  She doesn't even want to go back to school, because she loves being at home.  We will get her back into the routine and with her friends-which will be good for all of us.

Speaking of friends, we sometimes wonder how she is doing with friends.  However, Russell gets to witness the big huge amount of students that tell her "Bye" everyday after school!  So she's going to be just fine!

Dempsey continues to love stuffies and has asked for maybe 5 of them for Christmas.  She loves jumping on the trampoline, and feels super special when her brothers actually let her jump.  She loves minecraft and is actually pretty impressive regarding the animals/farms that she creates. 

Many nights Dempsey wants to have a "special night" which means she wants to sleep with us.  We are trying to get her out of this habit and so we will go hangout with her in her bed for a bit.  One of the last times we did this she started talking and said, "Well my life is going pretty good so far."  She says these things and you just want to squeeze her because it's so darn cute.

So cheers to 8.  AND hopefully Dempsey can still have her sleepover soon with her bestie Ella, and have a "real" birthday.  She's so lucky to have both sets of her grandparents stop by and say hi and deliver goodies;). BUT she's looking forward to some hugs!

Love all,

Mom

Ryker Camping Fishing NE Trip

Ryker's 8 yr old trip had to be pushed back to become his 9 yr old trip due to COVID.  Rather than go somewhere with friends, Ryker wanted to go somewhere just with me.  From one middle child to another, I totally get it little dude.  So we settled on a 4 night camping/fishing trip through NE.  

The first night we drove to Fort Kearney to camp and charge.  The plan was to take the Tesla since it has ample cargo room, can charge for free at Superchargers, and also since we planned to camp at sites that had 50amp hookups.  Worked out splendidly this first night.  Laurel and her family were very gracious!  They picked up some good local BBQ, also brought out firewood, smores, and some water.  Talk about a welcome wagon!  It was dark by the time we got camp set up and they arrived, but we soon got a nice fire going and hung out for awhile.  Good times.  The next morning, we fished a little at the ponds at this site, though I'm not convinced there was anything alive in them at all!  Off to the next stop.

Leaving camp with a 95% charge (full), we hit the road, planning to swing through Omaha to sign some closing docs for a rental property, and then head north to Tekamah, NE and camp at Summit Lake Reservoir.  15 minutes into the drive, the gods decided to interject themselves into our relaxing trip.  I saw a warning message saying something like: "Warning: your vehicle may not drive after you park it next".  !!!  After a fair amount of googling and deepeningly worrisome thoughts about the implications, we drove straight to the Tesla Service Center in Council Bluffs, IA, and rolled in there with 5% charge remaining.  After a Burger King lunch (Ryker's choice!), we Ubered to Eppley, acquired a rental car, and were leaving the parking garage when a malfunction occurred with the gate, resulting in 3 popped tires from the spikes on the ground.  Quickly I drove that vehicle back in the garage and parked it, as air was loudly escaping. After explaining the sitch to the people and acquiring a 2nd rental, we successfully arrived back at the Tesla service center.  After transferring all of our camping and fishing gear, we finally left to continue our journey.  I'm appreciative for having the money for a rental car without too much fuss, and I'm also appreciative they had rentals for our one-way trip... Onward! After signing closing docs for the rental prop, we head to Tekamah and set up camp at Summit Lake.  In a little evening/dusk fishing, Ryker caught the first fish of our trip, a little catfish!  He was sooooo excited to catch it.  We snag some dinner at the local camp bar and grill, a decent ribeye steak and mac and cheese of course.

The next morning we eat a dry breakfast, prep our gear, and meet my old Army friend Kevin Workman at the boat ramp (conveniently 100 yrds away from our campsite).  Kevin has turned into a semi-pro kayak fisherman; he travels and competes in fishing tournaments around the country as a hobby.  We load into 2 of his fishing kayaks, Ryker is sitting on the back of the one I'm driving to start.  The water level is quite low, they are preparing to dredge the bottom, in fact it is lower than the bottom of the boat ramp.  This works out very well, since no conventional boats can launch; we have the lake to ourselves!  The Hobie kayaks are smooth as silk in the water, very easy to pedal and steer.  After finding some moderate luck fishing up the north shore, Ryker is very ready to pilot his own craft.  We head back and launch the blow-up kayak we brought (thanks Granny Barb and Papa!) for me to use.  Ryker was soooo happy to be his own master and steer that Hobie around.  Pretty sure he enjoyed that more than the fishing.  Kevin caught a monster channel catfish, and Ryker and I enjoyed a few more catches as well.  Since it was grey and windy, Ryke was done so we headed in around 11 or 12.  All in all, this experience was one of the highlights of the trip for me.  Great to catch up with an old friend, and so awesome to have him teach us some of his mad skills.  

Next stop: Fairbury!  We drive down to my old haunt, the old stomping grounds.  We set up camp at Crystal Springs, which brought back many memories.  I used to camp out there with the Boy Scouts  back in the day.  Anyhow, after setting up camp and of course fishing a bit with no luck, we head into town... to go watch the latest James Bond at the Bonham Theater!  Again, tons of nostalgic feelings and memories for me at this place.  It is now run by a nonprofit and is a wonderful venue.  Snagging a Casey's taco pizza, we head back to camp and pretty much go right to bed since it is late.  

The next day, we grab some breakfast of champions (McDonalds), and head right out to the brickyard.  Man oh man, that place has not changed one bit.  Many good memories of fishing and grilling out there.  The old rowboat was still there and fully functional!  We spent all morning fishing and rowing around the pond.  We kept chasing this school of fish who looked like they were spawning or something, yet never had any luck with them.  We lost a few lures to the epic tree-lined shore.  I nearly caught a bass with a top-water lure.  In the end, I caught 1 small crappie, and Ryker didn't have any luck.  A big let-down!  Funny how hit-or-miss fishing can be.  

After tearing down camp, we start heading toward home.  Ryker has been looking forward to staying in a hotel (and to him, all hotels have pools haha)... yet I make the decision that we're just going to drive straight home.  I paid Ryker $20, part of the money we saved by not staying in a hotel.  He was still sad and mad at me for 1-2 hours, makes for a fun ride home.

Overall it was a fun trip for us.  Catching more fish would have made it even more fun.... and also not having car trouble!  But overall it was a success; it was wonderful being able to make these memories with Ryker and spend time with him exclusively.