The Wrap Up

It is New Year's Eve.  Meg and I are sitting at the dining room table here on Tyrrhenian, knocking out some last minute blog posts for our undefined readers of our blog book.  I'm sure you number in the millions by now, either as followers of the Fruvellhoff religion, or perhaps as admirers/supporters of one of our amazing children... hopefully in the vein of trying to understand the parenting style that produced one/some of the most well-balanced humans in the history of humanity, right?  Sorry, off on a tangent there!  Where was I....

Oh right, we're sitting here listening to the last Christmas songs of the season, reflecting back on the year of us humans two thousand and twenty-one.  We had plans for Granny Barb and Papa to be watching our kids right now while we are out on a date to the West Side Tavern on 3rd, the package was a nice gift from them for my birthday.  YET, that plan was not meant to be.  It is snowing heavily out, 2 of our kids have COVID, and a few other seemingly genuine reasons are in fact keeping us in tonight. Yet another Holiday quarantining at home.  As we are here and now, so were we for much of 2021.  This must be the theme of the year.  

Moments of literary note from our year:

Coronavirus.  The pandemic is currently reaching new peaks here in the U.S. thanks to the Omicron variant (though also thankfully, it isn't nearly as severe of an illness).  Still, everyday life continues to be disrupted.  The kids all had COVID over Thanksgiving, and so we had quarantined for 3 weeks then (not really that much different for me since I've been WFH 100%).  We just got back from visiting the cousins in Kearney with 24 hrs of complete fun: Holiday Inn pool swimming fun, Big Apple wallet-emptying fun, and general cousin craziness fun.  AJ and Dempsey had cold symptoms, we tested AJ and turns out he now has COVID again, poor fella.  Of the 3 kids, it has hit him the hardest on both occasions.  Anyhow, now that Christmas break is coming to an end, OF COURSE we are now looking at another 10 day quarantine, if not longer.  

Fellowship of the Ring.  I'm talking about me and Megan here.  Our marriage.  Our relationship.  For some reason, we continue to get along quite well!  We support each other almost all of the time, still have a huge affect on one another upon sight, communicate better than ever, and genuinely love each other.  We both know that we can depend on each other no matter what the circumstances.  Part of this I attribute to hard work in earlier years forging communication and trust, and yet part of this is unexplainable.  Regardless of the causes of our success on this front, I am so happy that we remain strong as 2 rocks.

Russ turned 40.  No big party, no surprise sabbatical, no shiny new mid-life crisis corvette... though I did trade up to a newer shiny Ford truck I suppose....rather, only a small family get together... with hibachi!  Honestly, this was all I wanted.  Perhaps I've gotten used to a more subdued life during the pandemic.  Will I ever crave the limelight again?  On being 40... I've been filled with nothing but gratitude this past year, for all of the experiences which have brought me to this time in my life and afforded me so much, gratitude for all of the people who have helped me along my journey, and gratitude for my wonderful little family.  As I've told people, when I try to think about how much life could be better, I tend to come up short.

Career Success.  We both continue to evolve in our lives as all living things do.  Meg and I seem to have each built careers on a mixture of opportunism and determination.  Meg is having great success turning into an outreach educator basically, by building and hosting continuing education classes for fellow SVVSD folks, and by doing staff presentations on mindfullness, self-care, etc.  Making some serious side-hustle coin all while creating the job that she wants!  As for me, I seem to be doing alright in my role at AWS, with everyone telling me I should get promoted.  So I finally relented, put in the documentation and essay-writing work, and readied my own promotion package.  We shall see, but I am expecting this to go through with a 10-15% bump in the next 6 months.

Hawaii.  Need I say more?  It was awesome and we talk frequently about when we can go back.  See prior blog post.

Basement Numero Dos.  Done.  And it rocks.  In many ways, basement 1.0 was quite the prototype for basement 2.0  So proud and thankful for all of Meg's hard work in knocking this one out.  Lady can throw up some WALLS!

Cheers, to an even more fun and exciting journey in 2022!

-R

Dropped Into Planet Teen: Where's the Manual?

Oh AJ.  In the last month or so it seems we have covered MANY topics that I knew were coming, but somehow wasn't exactly prepared to do RIGHT NOW.   

Grades:  So AJ earned himself a 4.0 first quarter.  Second quarter was a bit of a different story midway through (and spoiler alert-he ended up with a 4.0 again).  He never had any "bad" grades, but it wasn't the 4.0.  We had multiple conversations regarding "what's the point of grades?"  At some point AJ heard from my lengthy dialogue (I need to work on this) that "grades didn't matter."  HOW he came to this conclusion-I'm not entirely sure, but there was many conversations of why they matter, and what grades represent.  I even had to take a look at my (ridiculous standards) regarding grades and realize that I didn't want to raise a child that was a BIT nuts like I was regarding grades.  It really has been a fascinating journey of supporting your kid in WANTING to get good grades, but not because you are MAKING them to it.  

Death:  AJ came into our room a week ago and was pretty weepy.  He said "I don't want to die too soon."  My best guess is that this thinking came from a conversation we had earlier regarding our dog Sam.  AJ made the comment, "Well we are all dying."  As true as this statement was, I couldn't help but wonder if this realization that he had (most definitely told to him by us at multiple points) was hard.  BECAUSE it is hard, and so many people live their lives trying to be oblivious to the fact that death is all part of life.  Sweet AJ was really thinking about it all, and it led to a big long conversation that went it multiple directions thanks to his parents and our wonderful brains!  I told AJ about something that I talk with the parents at my school about- middle school is a time when they take their glasses off and see the world in a whole new way with all these emotions attached to it all.  It really was that kind of moment for him!

There have been a few other things including a lunch detention-learning the ways of different teachers with different expectations can be hard!  It's hard being a mom and on one hand not wanting your kid to experience hard times, but yet being *secretly* thrilled when the lifeguard calls him out because it takes a village to raise good people.  

We just watched Rise of the Guardians recently, and I can't help but think about what AJ's center is/will be.  It might be his golden quiet heart that is there for people when they need it.  It might be his engineer brain-that loves to see how things work and wonder about how things could be different.  All I know is that he is very patient with us as we navigate the teenage world with him, and I'm very grateful for that!

Love you AJ,

Mom

10.

RykerMAN is 10.  10.  I'm still trying to wrap my brain around the fact we have 2-2 digit kids in this house.  SUPER DUPER crazy.  

Ryker is the try-er of all things.  He has the famous quote:  "I want to do all the things."  AND it continues to be true.  See post of him recently trying out snowboarding.  He is signed up for basketball this season, which makes me SUPER excited!  I'm the coach and I really don't want to mess up his experience at all!  

Ryker takes school seriously.  He was invited to come into school early and get pushed a bit more in both reading and math.  He chose math.  AND he chose to do it!  Not every kid is interested in going to school earlier than necessary.

Ryker loves his quiet as much as he is a rascal himself.  His grandparents bought him his own noise cancelling headphones and he legit used them the first night and fell asleep right on the couch.  When I drove him and his friends to our local trampoline park, he encouraged everyone to play the quiet game.  :) Much appreciated!

Ryker really can't stand Dempsey.  I truly hope this will change, but my goodness these two.  Dempsey is WAY more interested in being a part of his crew, and he is HARDLY ever having it.  

Ryker is just so sentimental.  During his birthday party he came up and said, "Thanks Mom for this party, it's such a good time."  He seems to say gems like this all the time.  

He really is such a cool blend of Russell and me.  1 more year and this kid heads off to middle school.  I'm part fearful and part so stoked for what it will entail for him:)

Love you Ryk,

Mom

Adventures with Ryker: Snowboarding Edition

 We bought Ryker a snowboard, bindings, and boots for his birthday.  He said multiple times over the past year that he wants to snowboard (we're always listening!).  Turns out our good friends the Addingtons had gotten snowboards for Mya and Trevor also, so we set up a joint private lesson for the 3 of them. I checked in on them a couple of times and witnessed the same scene that every new snowboarder goes through.  Heel side, toe side, leaning toward the mountain, and lots of falling and getting up!  Also the mere act of strapping in and getting out of the snowboard at the top and bottom of the hill is at least half of the battle in and of itself.  After a 3 hr lesson, Ryke was soooo hungry and tired.   

I thought he may want to head up and do some of the green slopes after lunch, but nope! 

Meanwhile, Kelly Kyle Mark and I got in a few sweet shredding runs!

Proud of this guy for having a true zest for trying things in life; this is what makes life interesting and exciting, Ryker!  -R

Sweet Moments

As much as these kids can drive us bonkers….there has been some real sweet moments.

•We were on a date night and I came home to Dempsey’s poster above my bed.

•Dempsey was working on math homework, and pretty soon we see AJ on the ground helping her.

•Ryker and Russell came to my Staff vs. Student basketball game. When we were leaving Ryker said “I love that you’re my mom and a counselor. It’s so cool.” My guess is he saw how much I interacted with students and that they thought I was worth talking to…& just maybe that’s pretty cool.

•Ryk was solely responsible for finding our Christmas tree this year and cutting it down by himself.

Love Monma!