Meet this guy.

"You can learn many things from Children.  How much patience you have for instance."  -Franklin Jones

This is Aylen John, my FIRST born son.  And this picture represents soooo much for me.  This picture is Aylen making me laugh.  This picture is Aylen and I having an AWESOME time together.  This is us reconnecting.  After this picture we went running around Longmont.  Climbing around.  Jumping.  Dancing.  Giggling.  Being goofy.  Wearing Sunglasses.

So different than the previous day, the previous week, the previous weeks!

Aylen and I have been struggling.  Thursday night I was almost in tears.  From the moment I got home, to the moment Aylen went to bed it was Momma torture.  Let me explain....

That night I pulled up into our driveway.  Those of you who have kids or a DOG know this excitement that you get-knowing the minute you open that door you will be greeted by someone SOOO excited to see you.  It's the anticipation that is AWESOME.  So, I opened the door and right away Aylen comes running from the living room.  He gets to my feet, looks at me, and immediately decides to run past me, open the door-and ask, "Dadda?  Dadda?"  To which I explain, no it's just Momma, Dadda is still at work.  And there he stands at the door, looking, waiting, for his Dadda.  I try to pick him up and he hollers, saying "Not interested Momma thanks" in his own way.  Ugh.  Punch in the stomach.

I try a little more and realize he just isn't into me right now.  So I go over to Ryker who is eagerly awaiting some Momma nursing time.  I begin nursing, and Aylen all the sudden becomes interested in me.  But not in a good way.  He throws his books at me, comes over and tries to bite me, slap me.  Momma punch, again.

He then starts doing all of these things and actually putting himself into timeout.  I have ZERO idea what to do about that one (but that's another story).  At one point I actually hid in the bathroom because I was about to start crying because Aylen just didn't want to stop being mean.  Sadness.

Russ got home and he gets the lovely-running of Aylen, hugging, kissing, "DADDA!!!"  I explained to Russ what happened earlier.

At the dinner table, Aylen did not stop.  After eating a bit of food, Aylen threw his fork at me.  And then his sippy cup.  Russ got to see exactly what I was talking about.

I thought and thought about how he was acting that night when I went to bed.  I hate being a mental health person because I even asked Della--"this is normal right?  this isn't the start of him being a sociopath?"  or Anti-social?....she assured me it was normal.  Phew.

I talked to my Dad about it.  He suggested talking to a clinical Psychologist or Child Psychologist.  Somebody who knew little people.  So the next Day, Friday-I went to pick Aylen up at daycare.  He came running to me, gave me hugs and kisses, and Filled up my Momma soul.  We didn't Rush home-but rather took our time.  We parkoured around the downtown area of Longmont.  We laughed.  And danced.  And kissed.  And got to know each other again.

It was awesome.  And amazing.  And showed me that Aylen loves his momma.  He just has competition that is pretty fierce.

But Momma-Son dates are important.  And creating the time to just have FUN together is what my goal will be for awhile now.  Because I don't like those Momma punches to my soul.  They hurt.  Alot!

Love,
Momma