November 22, 2013
Dear Dempsey
Snow,
Twas 2
nights before Christmas, and all through the house-people were sleeping, except
this Momma. Ok. It wasn’t 2 nights before Christmas, but as
the story unfolds you will see how this felt a lot like Christmas.
Tuesday,
November 19th your Grandma and I went to midwife to see what was
happening! Your sweet heartbeat was
beating at 132, which was a bit slower than other days, which just convinced me
even more how much you were a boy and getting ready for that lower heartbeat. Jeni, our wonderful midwife, checked me and I
was at 2 cm. I had to say I was a bit
disappointed, but also knew this could change quickly. Little did I know.
I headed to the store to get food for dinner,
and then went to pick up your brothers from daycare. I noticed contractions were coming, but
nothing impossible.
We happily
welcomed our friends the Merlers down to our house for dinner. They are our good luck charms, because during
my pregnancy with your brother Ryker, dinner with them “led” to birthing Ryker
the next day. 4 days overdue I was ready
to see if we could work some Merler magic, because I was ready to meet you. And besides, they are our good friends and we
always enjoy our time with them!
Throughout
dinner I noticed the contractions continue, but again was doubtful that I would
see your face. So, we continued
throughout our evening, the ol’ routine of getting boys down, and I cuddled up
to your Daddy. The whole night I
contracted, and I timed it on the iphone app.
Every 10 minutes, 8 minutes, 9 minutes, 12 minutes. I never really ever fell asleep. They were never quite intense, frequent, or
long enough to call the midwife. By
morning time I was still going and becoming a bit more hopeful, since they
weren’t fizzling. The boys had joined us
in bed around 6am, and AJ immediately asked me during a contraction, “Momma,
why are you making that noise?” Daddy
explained to him that the baby might be coming.
We got boys
ready for daycare and Daddy took them over there. As I laid in bed, still contracting, I just
really had this feeling like today might be it and that I wanted Daddy back as
SOON as possible. Once Daddy got back,
he made me an awesome breakfast and we awaited the arrival of Jeni to come
check the situation out.
Jeni arrived
around 930am, checked me and happily reported that I was 5 cm. This was a big surprise to me, and also a
relief that those contractions throughout the night had really done
something. Jeni told us that she was
pretty sure we’d see this baby today, and to call her when things started
progressing harder and quicker. The next
part of this was so very special, Dempsey.
You see, your Dad and I started truly nesting in our bedroom to prepare
for your birth. You don’t get to truly
do that in a hospital. Together we made
the bed, prepared the tub, collected all the birth items, moved the birth
altar, setup the snack station, and just really hungout together.
After
preparing the room, I laid down in an attempt to get some sleep as I knew that
you probably weren’t going to make it super easy on me. Sleep didn’t really happen, but it was
important for my body to get some rest anyway, since we knew this was the
proverbial calm before the storm. After
1-2 hours of resting, we arranged to
have Jeni come by at 2PM to check in and whatnot. Then Daddy suggested that we should try to
take a walk before it was too late.
After all, I hadn’t been outside at all yet on this day! So, we got me out of bed (no small task), but
had to pause as soon as I moved because a contraction was triggered. Then got some clothes on, and again had to
pause for a contraction. Daddy noticed
that this was signaling a change… So we
walked downstairs and almost made it to the door, when another contraction came.
Now they were 3-4 minutes apart and definitely more intense. Daddy texted Jeni and let her know about this
change in behavior… She called back immediately and said that she’d get here as
soon as she could. We took a walk to the
end of the block, there and back again, and Jeni was at our house by the time
we got home.
Her words
were beautiful, “I think it’s time to fill up the tub.” 8 ½ cm.
Honestly, I was a bit shocked, because I really didn’t think I was that
close to having you. But, I let out some
tears because I knew it was really truly here.
Jeni and
Christina (the midwife apprentice) began to busily prepare their supplies, Russ
called Katherine our birth photographer, and I got in the tub.
The water was glorious. I’d been watching home water-births to
prepare for this moment. I was just really
anxious to be able to do this!! After
being in the tub for awhile, I got out around 330pm because we just felt like
things weren’t necessarily moving along.
I walked a bit and immediately had harder contractions. I had Jeni measure me, and I was at a 9 (cm). Jeni told me that I needed to increase my
contractions to every 3 minutes because that is what we needed to finish this
out. From 330pm til 5pm I walked up and
down our stairs-all 3 levels. I walked
fast, and Daddy followed. My goal ended
up being to have an intense contraction at the top floor and at the bottom
floor, after each repetition. This
happened, and I could tell that things were starting to move again. I was doing lunges/squats/anything I could
do.
I needed
your Dad so much at this point. I was
tired. And I was feeling done. I wanted to meet you so bad, but was at that
infamous point where I was SURE I would be pregnant forever, and seriously can
SOMEONE just cut me open and get this baby out!
BECAUSE I was about done. And it
was that “about” that got me through.
At 5pm, we
all went upstairs and Jeni measure me. Plus,
Daddy suggested that I take a break, and this ended up being a good idea. I had a bit of a front lip left, but Jeni was
sure that she could hold it during a contraction, and if I beared down a bit it
would go away. During this time she was
also able to feel my bag of waters during a contraction. She stated that my bag felt like “armor” and
it was no wonder that it never popped on its own. We all agreed to go ahead and break the water
next contraction. While we waited, I was
on the bed and made sure that everyone knew that I still wanted to birth in the
water if I could.
Next thing I
knew I was contracting and Jeni broke my bag of water. Next I felt a release of pressure, then I
felt you instantly slide down. I almost panicked because your Daddy was
holding a leg, and the Jeni and Christina had disappeared (they were still in
the room-but I knew they weren’t where they needed to be which was RIGHT by ME!)
They told me that if we were going to do this in the water we had to go
now. AND I knew that it was too late and
you were COMING. The next contraction
wave hit, and I pushed and pushed. I
knew your head was out, and I pushed as hard as I could and before I knew it I
heard the words, “Megan-REACH down and grab your baby!”
I pulled you
up and I experienced that feeling that no one else can possibly understand
unless they’ve birthed a baby before.
That feeling of OH-MY-GOD-I-JUST-DID-THAT-THANK-GOD-THAT’S-OVER-HOLY-HECK-WHAT-WAS-THAT-I’M-NEVER-DOING-THAT-AGAIN-OH-MY-GOD-BABY-YOU-ARE-BEAUTIFUL
feeling. You started crying and
breathing within 2 seconds of being born, on your own. I immediately asked Daddy what you were, and
he told me, “I don’t know, I couldn’t tell.”
“LOOK!” I said. He lifted up the
towel and I heard this, “Um, I think it’s a girl.” He was so uncertain, and I knew he wasn’t
right, and clearly he was too overwhelmed with the situation to call it
properly that I asked Jeni.
Jeni looked
and said, “Yes, It’s a girl!” And this
is where things get fuzzy. I know there
was a lot “are you kidding?” “are you serious?” “no it’s not” “oh my god we
have a girl” “it’s a girl”. There was
crying, lots of crying. Suddenly
anything that hurt felt just fine, and everything turned magical from that
point on. You stayed on my chest for
nearly two hours, latched on for nursing within 12 minutes, and stayed attached
to the placenta until the chord was no longer pulsing. Shortly after birth, our wonderful midwife
Jeni let us know that she was retiring and you were her last official birth as
the lead midwife. Magical, I’m telling
you sweet one!
Grandma came
back with your brothers around 630pm. AJ
came to my side and peeked at you, and when I let him know you were a girl-
there was no tantrum about you not being a boy.
Instead, his mouth opened wide and he just stared at you, then me, then
Dad.
Ryker looked at you and immediately
said, “Baby!” They both knew on some
deep level that this was a big deal. When Grandma found out you were a girl, she
screamed and was so surprised, yet immediately was all about the, “I told you
so!” After meeting your brothers and
Grandma you were put in a sling to be weighed and you were 8lbs even. Perfect.
Daddy made
calls to his side of the family, and each time we told them about you, there
was the immediate, “OH MY GOD.” I think
I had done a great job convincing everyone that I was right and indeed you
would be a boy. So this took a lot of people
by surprise!
After Jeni
checked you out, and you passed with flying colors (good heartbeat, slightly
high aspirations/but not too high, awesome apgars 9/10, all fingers/all toes,
vernix everywhere) we started bedtime routine.
Boys went to sleep, and then there was us. Daddy, you, me alone in our bedroom, ready
for sleep at 9pm. It was like any other
night, but really it was Christmas Eve.
Because in the morning when the boys came into our room and check you
out, we opened the curtains… Lo and behold 4 inches snow was there, and it was
still snowing! The snow that I had
promised AJ would come when the baby came.
Christmas was here a month and a few days early…
Dempsey
Snow…
you were named on Thursday, November 21st around 530pm. Daddy and I spent all day working on your
name. Early on, Daddy had shared a
strong preference for ‘Snow’ being in your name somewhere. There was such a strong meaning behind Snow,
and that was only made stronger by the beautiful falling snow that continued
all Thursday. Dempsey was a name that we
had on the list from when we were pregnant with AJ. After Daddy scooped the snow in preparation
for the arrival of the Merlers and Jeni, I told him that I was fully on board
with Dempsey Snow. And that, my BIGGEST
little surprise miracle sweet baby girl, is how you got your name.
Love you,
