Dempsey Snow. Your Birth Story.

November 22, 2013

Dear Dempsey Snow,

Twas 2 nights before Christmas, and all through the house-people were sleeping, except this Momma.  Ok.  It wasn’t 2 nights before Christmas, but as the story unfolds you will see how this felt a lot like Christmas. 

Tuesday, November 19^th your Grandma and I went to midwife to see what was happening!  Your sweet heartbeat was beating at 132, which was a bit slower than other days, which just convinced me even more how much you were a boy and getting ready for that lower heartbeat.  Jeni, our wonderful midwife, checked me and I was at 2 cm.  I had to say I was a bit disappointed, but also knew this could change quickly.  Little did I know.  

 I headed to the store to get food for dinner, and then went to pick up your brothers from daycare.  I noticed contractions were coming, but nothing impossible.

We happily welcomed our friends the Merlers down to our house for dinner.  They are our good luck charms, because during my pregnancy with your brother Ryker, dinner with them “led” to birthing Ryker the next day.  4 days overdue I was ready to see if we could work some Merler magic, because I was ready to meet you.  And besides, they are our good friends and we always enjoy our time with them! 

Throughout dinner I noticed the contractions continue, but again was doubtful that I would see your face.  So, we continued throughout our evening, the ol’ routine of getting boys down, and I cuddled up to your Daddy.  The whole night I contracted, and I timed it on the iphone app.  Every 10 minutes, 8 minutes, 9 minutes, 12 minutes.  I never really ever fell asleep.  They were never quite intense, frequent, or long enough to call the midwife.  By morning time I was still going and becoming a bit more hopeful, since they weren’t fizzling.  The boys had joined us in bed around 6am, and AJ immediately asked me during a contraction, “Momma, why are you making that noise?”   Daddy explained to him that the baby might be coming. 

We got boys ready for daycare and Daddy took them over there.  As I laid in bed, still contracting, I just really had this feeling like today might be it and that I wanted Daddy back as SOON as possible.  Once Daddy got back, he made me an awesome breakfast and we awaited the arrival of Jeni to come check the situation out.  

Jeni arrived around 930am, checked me and happily reported that I was 5 cm.  This was a big surprise to me, and also a relief that those contractions throughout the night had really done something.  Jeni told us that she was pretty sure we’d see this baby today, and to call her when things started progressing harder and quicker.  The next part of this was so very special, Dempsey.  You see, your Dad and I started truly nesting in our bedroom to prepare for your birth.  You don’t get to truly do that in a hospital.  Together we made the bed, prepared the tub, collected all the birth items, moved the birth altar, setup the snack station, and just really hungout together.  

After preparing the room, I laid down in an attempt to get some sleep as I knew that you probably weren’t going to make it super easy on me.  Sleep didn’t really happen, but it was important for my body to get some rest anyway, since we knew this was the proverbial calm before the storm.  After 1-2 hours of resting,  we arranged to have Jeni come by at 2PM to check in and whatnot.  Then Daddy suggested that we should try to take a walk before it was too late.  After all, I hadn’t been outside at all yet on this day!  So, we got me out of bed (no small task), but had to pause as soon as I moved because a contraction was triggered.  Then got some clothes on, and again had to pause for a contraction.  Daddy noticed that this was signaling a change…  So we walked downstairs and almost made it to the door, when another contraction came.  Now they were 3-4 minutes apart and definitely more intense.  Daddy texted Jeni and let her know about this change in behavior… She called back immediately and said that she’d get here as soon as she could.  We took a walk to the end of the block, there and back again, and Jeni was at our house by the time we got home.

Her words were beautiful, “I think it’s time to fill up the tub.”  8 ½ cm.  Honestly, I was a bit shocked, because I really didn’t think I was that close to having you.  But, I let out some tears because I knew it was really truly here.  

Jeni and Christina (the midwife apprentice) began to busily prepare their supplies, Russ called Katherine our birth photographer, and I got in the tub. 

The water was glorious.  I’d been watching home water-births to prepare for this moment.  I was just really anxious to be able to do this!!  After being in the tub for awhile, I got out around 330pm because we just felt like things weren’t necessarily moving along.  I walked a bit and immediately had harder contractions.  I had Jeni measure me, and I was at a 9 (cm).  Jeni told me that I needed to increase my contractions to every 3 minutes because that is what we needed to finish this out.  From 330pm til 5pm I walked up and down our stairs-all 3 levels.  I walked fast, and Daddy followed.  My goal ended up being to have an intense contraction at the top floor and at the bottom floor, after each repetition.  This happened, and I could tell that things were starting to move again.  I was doing lunges/squats/anything I could do.

I needed your Dad so much at this point.  I was tired.  And I was feeling done.  I wanted to meet you so bad, but was at that infamous point where I was SURE I would be pregnant forever, and seriously can SOMEONE just cut me open and get this baby out!  BECAUSE I was about done.  And it was that “about” that got me through.  

At 5pm, we all went upstairs and Jeni measure me.  Plus, Daddy suggested that I take a break, and this ended up being a good idea.  I had a bit of a front lip left, but Jeni was sure that she could hold it during a contraction, and if I beared down a bit it would go away.  During this time she was also able to feel my bag of waters during a contraction.  She stated that my bag felt like “armor” and it was no wonder that it never popped on its own.  We all agreed to go ahead and break the water next contraction.  While we waited, I was on the bed and made sure that everyone knew that I still wanted to birth in the water if I could. 

Next thing I knew I was contracting and Jeni broke my bag of water.  Next I felt a release of pressure, then I felt you instantly slide down.  I almost panicked because your Daddy was holding a leg, and the Jeni and Christina had disappeared (they were still in the room-but I knew they weren’t where they needed to be which was RIGHT  by ME!)  They told me that if we were going to do this in the water we had to go now.  AND I knew that it was too late and you were COMING.  The next contraction wave hit, and I pushed and pushed.  I knew your head was out, and I pushed as hard as I could and before I knew it I heard the words, “Megan-REACH down and grab your baby!” 

I pulled you up and I experienced that feeling that no one else can possibly understand unless they’ve birthed a baby before.  That feeling of OH-MY-GOD-I-JUST-DID-THAT-THANK-GOD-THAT’S-OVER-HOLY-HECK-WHAT-WAS-THAT-I’M-NEVER-DOING-THAT-AGAIN-OH-MY-GOD-BABY-YOU-ARE-BEAUTIFUL feeling.  You started crying and breathing within 2 seconds of being born, on your own.  I immediately asked Daddy what you were, and he told me, “I don’t know, I couldn’t tell.”  “LOOK!” I said.  He lifted up the towel and I heard this, “Um, I think it’s a girl.”  He was so uncertain, and I knew he wasn’t right, and clearly he was too overwhelmed with the situation to call it properly that I asked Jeni.  

Jeni looked and said, “Yes, It’s a girl!”  And this is where things get fuzzy.  I know there was a lot “are you kidding?” “are you serious?” “no it’s not” “oh my god we have a girl” “it’s a girl”.  There was crying, lots of crying.  Suddenly anything that hurt felt just fine, and everything turned magical from that point on.  You stayed on my chest for nearly two hours, latched on for nursing within 12 minutes, and stayed attached to the placenta until the chord was no longer pulsing.  Shortly after birth, our wonderful midwife Jeni let us know that she was retiring and you were her last official birth as the lead midwife.  Magical, I’m telling you sweet one!

Grandma came back with your brothers around 630pm.  AJ came to my side and peeked at you, and when I let him know you were a girl- there was no tantrum about you not being a boy.  Instead, his mouth opened wide and he just stared at you, then me, then Dad. 

Ryker looked at you and immediately said, “Baby!”  They both knew on some deep level that this was a big deal.  When Grandma found out you were a girl, she screamed and was so surprised, yet immediately was all about the, “I told you so!”  After meeting your brothers and Grandma you were put in a sling to be weighed and you were 8lbs even.  Perfect.  

Daddy made calls to his side of the family, and each time we told them about you, there was the immediate, “OH MY GOD.”  I think I had done a great job convincing everyone that I was right and indeed you would be a boy.  So this took a lot of people by surprise!  

After Jeni checked you out, and you passed with flying colors (good heartbeat, slightly high aspirations/but not too high, awesome apgars 9/10, all fingers/all toes, vernix everywhere) we started bedtime routine.  Boys went to sleep, and then there was us.  Daddy, you, me alone in our bedroom, ready for sleep at 9pm.  It was like any other night, but really it was Christmas Eve.  Because in the morning when the boys came into our room and check you out, we opened the curtains… Lo and behold 4 inches snow was there, and it was still snowing!  The snow that I had promised AJ would come when the baby came.  Christmas was here a month and a few days early…

 

 Dempsey Snow…

you were named on Thursday, November 21^st around 530pm.  Daddy and I spent all day working on your name.  Early on, Daddy had shared a strong preference for ‘Snow’ being in your name somewhere.  There was such a strong meaning behind Snow, and that was only made stronger by the beautiful falling snow that continued all Thursday.  Dempsey was a name that we had on the list from when we were pregnant with AJ.  After Daddy scooped the snow in preparation for the arrival of the Merlers and Jeni, I told him that I was fully on board with Dempsey Snow.  And that, my BIGGEST little surprise miracle sweet baby girl, is how you got your name.

Love you,

Momma (with help from Daddy)


******Big, HUGE, MANY thanks to Katherine Forbes who took the amazing birth photos.  See her blog at http://katherineforbesphotography.com/blog  :) ********