a Girl, my Girl

"it's a boy", "no way it's a girl", "seriously, guys. I'm 99% positive"

I spit it out like it was no one's business.  I knew it a girl no one else was going to convince me otherwise.  The baby's heartbeat was similar to the boys, I carried the same, I looked the same, at the ultrasound I JUST knew the tech was telling me it was a boy-especially because she told me she saw the sex immediately.  The midwife even called her a him.  I had my share of dear ones tell me- "It's so a girl."  I knew they were wrong.  I just really knew it.  

but there were times.  Not a lot of them, but they were there.  Like when the heartbeat would be in the 150s, or when it seemed to increase as the pregnancy went on.  Or when I really wanted something super sweet.  I'd entertain the thought of a girl for a second.  Russ would say things like, "It just would be awesome to see a mini-Megan."  And then I'd start dreaming... a girl, a mini-me.  I liked it.  I liked it alot.  Maybe she could play basketball.  I had visions of her being a point guard, dribbling up the court with her little nike shoes and matching headbands.  I had visions of us getting pedicures while the boys were attending their boy scout camping weekend.  I had pictures of us up on the mountain top after we climbed a 14-er together.  Those articles on how to teach  your girl about her body image-yea I wanted to read them...BUT it's a boy.  

I didn't let myself dream and I sought out others who had 3 boys.  what's it like?  "Oh it's wonderful having 3 boys."  I was prepared.  I was excited!!  You don't have to be in our house too long to realize how different our boys are.  I knew this boy would be totally different than the other two.  

So as you can see, I was convinced.  And when I pushed this little one out, I immediately wanted to know what sex the baby was.  interesting.  Because I have never been so adamant before-I was usually like, "It's a boy. Whatever."  When Russ said "Girl." I didn't believe him.  When the midwife said, "Girl," I almost didn't believe her either.   I think I was in disbelief for the first week.  Every diaper change was mind blowing, especially since she LOOKED just like AJ as a baby. 

After delivering her, I couldn't sleep that first night.  It wasn't because of her, but because of how amazingly excited I was to have a girl, my girl.  She was perfect



.  She was a SHE.  And she was my daughter.  (Yea i know I was on a loop!  Russ had to hear this a bunch in that first week).  I spent hours thinking about our future, her future, all the things that I had pictured with a son were now with a daughter.  AND in the end I am fully aware that my dreams with her might not happen, but I still get to dream/predict/fall in love with potentials!! 
 
 I finally have maybe come down from the high, and just am ridiculously excited for the future, whatever it will be.  I can't wait to help her grow her self-esteem, encourage her to be who she truly is, and just love her like crazy.  I can't think of a better way to be done making our family, and now we can focus on raising them!  There is more balance, and as Russ says, "I finally have another girl in the house."  Since all living creatures (kids and animals) have always been boys.  

If Dempsey was a boy, I would be saying, "Told you."  I would still be in uber love.  But I'm honoring that have a little girl is different and magical in a whole different way.  

So in love, and so grateful!
Momma

(special thanks to Katherine Forbes for the lovely photos- http://katherineforbesphotography.com/blog)